Welcome to Madonna's breakup album. Revelation of the day: Even if you're pop music royalty, and more famous than most prime ministers, you can still get your heart broken, and come out hurt and angry.
The best thing about the first lady of pop has always been her ability to be fresh, to be cutting edge, to serve up something that no one thought of doing. And to suddenly make whatever she did so cool that everyone wanted to be a part of it. 'Frozen' made Hindu mysticism cool, 'Don't Tell Me' made pop-star-does-country-track cool, and 'Confessions on a Dancefloor' was an out-and-out dance-music album that wasn't afraid to say so, miles before the Black Eyed Peas and David Guetta started dominating the charts with club and electronica.
For me, thought, that's the biggest element missing in this album: the freshness.In today's musical landscape, it doesn't stand out as anything different or exciting. It sounds predictable, studio-hashed and honestly, boring.
There's only one song that counters my critique, one shining spot of edginess on it for me, and that's the 5 minutes and 26 seconds called 'Gang Bang'. Sung by a woman who's just killed her husband - with a Southern accent, very nice touch! - I found it clever, dark and curious as hell. The lyrics are gorgeous ("Bitch out of order, Bat out of hell, Fish out of water, Scared, can't you tell?") and the delivery is suave. If the album's first single, 'Give Me All Your Luvin', was North, then this is as South as Antarctica (thank God!). I only wish there had been more of where that came from.
Sadly, though, the rest of the album is nothing to write home about. 'I'm Addicted', 'Some Girls', 'I don't Give A' are standard 21st century dancefloor fare, with a lot of post-marriage angst built in. It's great fodder for the media - lines like "Lawyers, suck it up, Didn't have a pre-nup" are doing the rounds - and there's loads more where that came from. But instead of coming across as sassy, to me it sounded lame. You're 53, mother of three kids, and this is your second divorce, and yet, you're out to sound like an angry 18 year old. Not cool. Then there's 'B-Day Song', where she's trying to be Brit and telling someone to lick the icing off her cake. Maybe she's trying to be cheeky and taking a dig at Mr Ritchie? By this stage, I really don't care.
Things get so bad that by the time I reach 'Give Me All Your Luvin', its sheer familiarity makes it sound almost good to me. That's when I realize how musically shallow this record is. (I reviewed the single when it first came out, and my opinion hasn't changed.)
If anything, the slower and more quiet numbers are the only place where I pause and listen. 'Masterpiece' has some depth, and 'Fallin Free' is pretty. 'I Fucked Up' is honest and makes you feel, for the first time, like she's stopped trying to be cool and is giving us an insight into what's really going on. It seems like Madonna's hurt comes out better, musically, than her anger.
In a career as stupendous as Madonna's, one or two average albums will get swept away, explained or forgotten. This is one such example. MDNA may sell a lot of records - I think that'll depend a lot on what songs the label decides to plug next; my advice: Avoid the dance nonsense - but even so, it's likely to be remembered for no other reason than because it was about Madonna's breakup with Guy Ritchie. And that will be that.
As a fan, I've already started waiting for the next album, in hopes that the edge that we know Madonna possesses will come out stronger next time around. For now, put this record back on the shelf, please.
The best thing about the first lady of pop has always been her ability to be fresh, to be cutting edge, to serve up something that no one thought of doing. And to suddenly make whatever she did so cool that everyone wanted to be a part of it. 'Frozen' made Hindu mysticism cool, 'Don't Tell Me' made pop-star-does-country-track cool, and 'Confessions on a Dancefloor' was an out-and-out dance-music album that wasn't afraid to say so, miles before the Black Eyed Peas and David Guetta started dominating the charts with club and electronica.
For me, thought, that's the biggest element missing in this album: the freshness.In today's musical landscape, it doesn't stand out as anything different or exciting. It sounds predictable, studio-hashed and honestly, boring.
There's only one song that counters my critique, one shining spot of edginess on it for me, and that's the 5 minutes and 26 seconds called 'Gang Bang'. Sung by a woman who's just killed her husband - with a Southern accent, very nice touch! - I found it clever, dark and curious as hell. The lyrics are gorgeous ("Bitch out of order, Bat out of hell, Fish out of water, Scared, can't you tell?") and the delivery is suave. If the album's first single, 'Give Me All Your Luvin', was North, then this is as South as Antarctica (thank God!). I only wish there had been more of where that came from.
Sadly, though, the rest of the album is nothing to write home about. 'I'm Addicted', 'Some Girls', 'I don't Give A' are standard 21st century dancefloor fare, with a lot of post-marriage angst built in. It's great fodder for the media - lines like "Lawyers, suck it up, Didn't have a pre-nup" are doing the rounds - and there's loads more where that came from. But instead of coming across as sassy, to me it sounded lame. You're 53, mother of three kids, and this is your second divorce, and yet, you're out to sound like an angry 18 year old. Not cool. Then there's 'B-Day Song', where she's trying to be Brit and telling someone to lick the icing off her cake. Maybe she's trying to be cheeky and taking a dig at Mr Ritchie? By this stage, I really don't care.
Things get so bad that by the time I reach 'Give Me All Your Luvin', its sheer familiarity makes it sound almost good to me. That's when I realize how musically shallow this record is. (I reviewed the single when it first came out, and my opinion hasn't changed.)
If anything, the slower and more quiet numbers are the only place where I pause and listen. 'Masterpiece' has some depth, and 'Fallin Free' is pretty. 'I Fucked Up' is honest and makes you feel, for the first time, like she's stopped trying to be cool and is giving us an insight into what's really going on. It seems like Madonna's hurt comes out better, musically, than her anger.
In a career as stupendous as Madonna's, one or two average albums will get swept away, explained or forgotten. This is one such example. MDNA may sell a lot of records - I think that'll depend a lot on what songs the label decides to plug next; my advice: Avoid the dance nonsense - but even so, it's likely to be remembered for no other reason than because it was about Madonna's breakup with Guy Ritchie. And that will be that.
